Five tips for finding the right person for you!
Is mentorship for you?
Colleagues and friends have told me that mentoring is a thing of the past and that most career-minded people don’t have time to mentor others. They argue that high achievers do not care enough to help guide someone new. While others freely admit that they do not want to invest in someone who may end up becoming their boss.
Honestly, we may just have to also admit that in reality we simply fear the responsibility, or the blame and shame for any negative outcome. I believe this fear is legitimate, but it is not a strong enough reason to shy away from considering mentoring as a legitimate tool of personal and career development. Specially, when we know that success or failure depends on multiple factors and does not solely rest with one party in the mentor/mentee relationship.
To understand how mentoring can work as a powerful tool in personal development we first need to define it. Definitions are important because it allows us the opportunity to differentiate between all options available to us. For example, the difference between a mentor and a coach. Depending on your goals and circumstances you may need both.
A mentor is basically someone who shares theirs skills, knowledge, and experience to help you grow personally and professionally. The focus of a mentor is your personal development.
A coach is someone who guides their clients in their goals to help them reach those goals and hopefully achieve their full potential. A coach uses performance measures to help you grow and advance your career.
Both a mentor and a coach will help you grow. Your needs and personal circumstances will determine which is better.
I am an optimist and believe that you can find what you are looking for if you are clear about your wants and needs.
Here is a list of my top five ideas to finding the right person. These is how approach it, but you can certainly add to this list what works for you.
Five tips to finding a mentor:
1. Be clear about your goals and your expectations. Do you need a formal approach or informal?
2. Talk to people you respect who are doing what you are doing, or what you want to do. This is critical if you are starting out in your career. The best mentors are those who already lived the experience.
3. Communicate your intentions clearly and effectively when seeking guidance.What do you need and what do you believe this person can help you with? Is better to be upfront and assertive than to leave the person guessing.
4. Use a proactive approach and assume-good intentions. If someone tells you No, ask for a referral or introduction to someone else they trust and recommend.
5. Respect! be humble, and be flexible.
It goes without saying that relationships are build on trust, respect, and overtime. Remember that those that give you of their time and talent are investing in you because they believe in you. Their time and talent is a precious commodity, so treated as such.
Word to the wise, not every mentor/ mentee relationship is going to work out or be perfect. Expect bumps on the road and have an exit strategy. Always be gracious, honest, and professional when it’s not working for you or the other person. Go back to numbers 4 and 5.
In conclusion, mentoring is an excellent way to advance your personal and career goals. Invest in yourself and invest in others by paying it forward. When you help others you exponentially increase your chances of success.
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Wilma Cartagena holds a Masters Degree in Human Resources with concentration in professional development and employee relations. The opinions expressed here are based on years of experience working in public, private, and nonprofits organizations. The information is intended to serve only as guide.
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